Friday, December 15, 2006

need to vent

It is 3:37 A.M. and I am having trouble sleeping. Mostly it is because I know that Lilli will be waking up very soon and scream for an hour or more until someone comes and gets her. Nighttime is still SOOOOOO frustrating! We started putting her to bed in her crib on October 3. Bedtime has only gotten marginally better. The last three nights have been particularly bad. She has screamed (and I don't mean cry--blood-curdling, hysterical screams) for an hour or more when we put her down. She stands up in her crib and starts throwing things out. She hits the sides with her fists and just goes bananas. It is absolutely ridiculous! We have tried it all: read all of the books on nighttime woes, taken all of the advice given, etc. and nothing seems to make this time any easier. I'm ready to throw in the towel and just be content with the "family bed". Unfortunately, DH does not want to do this. He thinks that she doesn't want to sleep alone. I couldn't agree more, but we haven't been able to convince her that she will be fine and that we will be there when she wakes up. We have tried all of the techniques of gradually transitioning her to her bed, but again, it just hasn't worked. I need a freaking miracle. I'm not sure how much more my blood pressure can take. Tonight I found myself praying to God and bargaining somehow for some answers to this dilemma. Maybe it is just our cross to bear.

On a more positive note, dh and Lilli seem to be bonding much better. The last week or so has brought about great strides in the attachment department. I'm grateful. I hate to see the dejected look on dh's face everytime Lilli pushes him away. It is hard on everybody.

OK, I feel better.

No comments: