Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Feeling better

I think Lilli is out of the woods. She seems to be feeling better. Her mood has improved tremendously and she is up and playing again.

Things are starting to get easier. I'm realizing what life is REALLY like being a mom and I'm dealing with it. I think my expectations about parenthood were a bit off. Many people get this cute, fuzzy image of how it is to be a mom and it just isn't that way. Yes, there are times when Lilli can melt my heart and I LOVE those time; but, there are also times when she sends my blood pressure through the roof. I think the latter is the part of motherhood that I wasn't prepared for. I don't think anything or anyone can prepare you. Being a mom is all about first-hand, on-the-job training and about being brave enough to not have specific expectations. Everyday is a new experience and what worked yesterday may not work today. It is absolutely amazing in so many ways.

I'm done preaching. Lilli starts her therapy tomorrow. She is beginning with Developmental Therapy and we were just notified that they have a Speech Pathologist for us. We are thrilled because she is still not talking. We have noticed that she is making several different and new noises, but nothing with consistency or anything that is understandable. She has called me "mommy" 3-4 times in the last few weeks, but the "eee" sound is a new one for her and she's using it a lot. I will be glad when she can communicate with us and there isn't all of this yelling, grunting, screaming, etc. to get her needs met.

Bedtime is still problematic. She doesn't like to be alone. I hate putting her in her room by herself. I'm sure she senses this. Todd is now the bedtime man; I'm bath time girl: we are a team! For some reason Todd can put her in crib without so much as a peep. I get wild hysteria when I lay her down. Again, I think she can sense my hesitation. I can't help it. I love sleeping next to her. She is quite the cuddle-bug and the sweetest thing in the morning. It has been two months since we started putting her in her crib and it isn't much better than when we started. There has to be a better way.

Well, I'm being booted off the computer. I've got some cute pix to post which I will do later.

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