Tonight has been a very busy night. We went to Target to register and I have worked on the shower invitations practically all afternoon. There were 23 new e-mail messages with about half of them coming from our agency. All kinds of new stuff is cropping up and it is beginning to get a bit stressful. We found out today that we have to go to Chicago to get our visas. As luck would have it, we will be in Chicago next Friday for the big wedding weekend. We are hoping to take care of the visa situation while we are there. If not, then I may be making another trip. It just feels like every time we turn around there is another fee or something that needs to be notarized or what not. I don't think anybody has ANY idea how difficult this road has been. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself and wish that we hadn't picked this path. Then I look at Lilly's pic and I know we are doing the right thing. It can be overwhelming when everything has to be completed by a deadline and there is only so much we can do in a day. I think today is one of those days when I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Sigh.
I know people don't mean to be hurtful but there have been some things said regarding us having a shower that have rubbed me the wrong way. My sil informed me that a family member doesn't understand why we are having a shower with no baby. My sil is AWESOME and totally backed me up by saying that we would be having a shower if I were pregnant. You go, girl. I just think people don't know how to handle the adoption and lots of people are really excited but they really don't know how to channel that excitement. I know everyone wants to see the baby but it may be awhile after we get back before Lilly is comfortable being around people. Heck, it may be awhile before anyone other than Todd and I can hold her. So now I'm sitting here with this information and questioning why we are having a shower and wondering if other people are going to feel the same way as this family member. Todd says I shouldn't care, but I do. A shower is essentially a party that I am throwing where people bring me gifts. It feels funky and uncomfortable. What upsets me is exactly what my sil said, there would be a shower, without question, if I were pregnant. I've never been a conventional person and I haven't changed that in regards to starting my family, but there are some things that are traditions and having a baby shower for your first child is a tradition--adoption, bio, stolen, whatever! I just wish people could understand how their remarks and opinions are insensitive. Maybe I just need to grow tougher skin.
So that was a brain-fart of a paragraph. I don't think I ever made a point. I'm in a state of confusion as to whether I should have this shower or not. Oh well. My dog just passed gas; it smells like bologna.